Emotional Overload

 Today we had an education day about my Chemotherapy. It went well, we toured the chemotherapy room, and got acquainted with the nurses. I also met with billing and everything is a go from my insurance, at least for now. I also got the date for the operation to get my port put in which is December 30th. 

Before we even left this morning I had a surprise. My daughter Nesie picked up my daughter Samantha and Lilly so they would be here for Christmas. Hugging Samantha is what I needed to get my day started and then I saw her face. Her teeth are in really bad shape. She 27 and there is nothing left to them. How does that even happen? I know her life choices and the fact that she battles with anorexia and bulimia is a big part of it but it was still a shock. I told her she needs to find a surgeon and get all of her teeth pulled and get dentures. To see my baby in pain because of her teeth is heart-wrenching. 

Then we had Nesie she is a mess. She had a breakup and my granddaughter and she both have to be out of the house by December 31st with nowhere to go, and with me being sick. Nesie has had a lot on her plate. Nesie has a lot of decisions to make in a short time and it is putting a toll on her boy and mind. I can suggest things and listen to her but I can't make her decisions for her. Lets just say she isn't having it easy right now. 

Being a mother seeing your children in pain or turmoil is hard to see when you aren't able to fix it for them. Like I said on my Facebook. " I liked it better when they were all really little and we had all the answers for them. A kiss, a hug, or time just with them is all they needed to make things better." It's hard, please remember people who look fine may be going through rough times or have to make a tough decision, be kind.

We had lots of tears on the way up and on the way back from the Clinic. Big note make sure you have tissues on hand in the car for these very moments. We did finish the night off by ordering Chinese for Dinner. Everyone ate together talking and I think the night ended well for everyone before the girls were off till Christmas Day.